fukin pop ups

2038-01-19T03:14:07Z

ohman these fukin pop ups suk ass majorly ..newho not much goin on here ..cept still sad nick goin into marines...i hate every1..lol..n it just dawned on me that i have changed n well actually more liek an old friend whom ive known since i was 12 (first bf ever) is visitin from flordia n he was liek whoa wen did u turn soo cold hearted n edgy n soo soo FUKIN MEAN...n i was liek i am not then i realised i am..well maybe after i got my heart n child ripped out of me n forever lost n bein abused mentally n physically maybe that did it for me maybe since then i no longer trust i no longer must get attached..im not that lil 12 year old who smiles n is happy at everythin or talk to random people nemore..that child is dead..that person is dead and it doesnt look liek itl be returnin netime soon..n i dont thin i want it to either...why do i want people to liek me ..wat do they have to ofer me ..nothin thats it wait no i wouldnt say nothin i would say headaches fukin headaches...n y would i want to start datin again wat does that do ..i spilled my heart once n opend up once b where dis that get me ..ill tel u wherea year n a half later havin spent 4 month at the end of that bein pregnant n thinkin every thin wil be ok everytin i knew felt saw had was lost in just one day..my child my lover .. my house n fam..my friendsmy life..everythin down the drain ...so now i have no reason to love no reason to be nice no reason to trust....and now as i try to get a lil bit bak i am left w/ a family who doent trust me n restrains me...no1 around me to help me love again my heart wil bever see light again but oh well this is my life i made it this way only thin is i dont think i can fix it...I HATE THIS I HATE U AND I HATE MY SELF

love = shit....id rather hang myself then love again

but for some reason i get this feelin inside me sometimes to be held again n cared for n lay w/ some1 n know things r ok.to be kissed again...for some1 to call me beautiful no one has ever called me beautiful.....

goin to go n die now..

<3roxi<3

first you want to kill me ..

fukin pop ups